may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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