You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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