I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
