come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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