Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
