If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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