Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she pinky promised me she was 18
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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