I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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