I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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