he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize