erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
