How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
