singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
