When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
