Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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