it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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