i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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