thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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