that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
