I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
