Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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