well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I didn't notice because vodka
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
