i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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