how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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