TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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