i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize