So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
