you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
