that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
