they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
