The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
