Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
