i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My breasts were aching with rage.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
