That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
