fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
