I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
