is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
