Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
