Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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