Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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