Define "chronic" masturbator.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Vodka?
Forever.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
