Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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