I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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