on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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