YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
