no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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