I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
