I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
high people should be assigned attendants
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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