she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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