Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
