I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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