I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
