I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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