A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize