i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize