He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
