i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
