Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
