I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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