Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize