Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
