my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
